i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
