he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
