she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Randomize
