I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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