shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
