It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
