turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
