bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
