Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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