did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
