So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
