My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
