i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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