She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
