Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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