I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
