I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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