he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
