is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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