Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
