I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
