it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
