I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
two words...techno handjob
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
