At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
