I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
