So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
