Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
