at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
