Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
