Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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