So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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