i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
