Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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