Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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