The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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