I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just invented taco cereal.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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