White coat. Heels.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
