They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
