Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
