sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize