hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
