Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
