Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
