another moral hangover. fuck.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
