I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
