I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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