so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
