dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
