? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
