dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
