KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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