I have demons in me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
