I will die if light touches me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
