I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
