Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
