i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
