And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's even glitter on my cock...
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