Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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