My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
