i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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