That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
