i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think my moral compass just broke
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