So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
