I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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